Spoilt Paper - election blog 1

When David Cameron became PM in 2010, it became law that the election would be held every five years on May 7^th. No more tedious speculation from the pundits before the date was announced. What we got instead were four months of campaigning that has plunged most of us into a coma. By May 7^th it’ll be surprising if voter turnout hits double figures.

Closer to home, things have been more restrained. 

A month ago, the Libdems sent me a jolly newsletter alerting me to the fact that my MP had done a Number of Good Things. Since then they’ve sent two more, plus a polite personal letter (not as polite as the ones my Nigerian bank manager sends). 

To date, the Conservatives have managed to squeeze out one leaflet. The others have produced nothing. Presumably the dog ate them. Or perhaps the messy pile of leaves in my front porch is a subtle message from the Greens.

I’m not entirely sure who all the candidates are. I know the Tory is a smiley woman, which was a surprise; I’m not certain many local Tories know that women were allowed to vote. She seems to be a doctor because she has her photograph taken in front of Westmorland General rather a lot. Come to think of it, the LibDem's Big Tim is there so much he’s probably a qualified surgeon by now.

I do know that the original UKIP chap resigned - but then UKIP gets through candidates so fast it’ll soon have to start importing them.

It’s time I found out more. Who are they all? Do they have any policies? Do any of them have an original thought in their head? 

Tonight at 7.15 I will confront them all personally at Kendal College. Not on my own (the blog isn’t that influential) but as part of an audience at the Westmorland Gazette debate. I’ll tweet my impressions (@colinshelbourn) and you can follow along via the #WGdebate hashtag.

In tomorrow’s blog, we’ll look at how the candidates performed.

Election blog - Day Zero

By now I am sure most of you are consumed with election fever. I certainly am.

But it's even more exciting to discover that today is this blog's 10th birthday.

It all began with the election in 2005. Then editor of the Westmorland Gazette, Mike Glover, asked if I would like to do a blog about the forthcoming general election. "I know nothing of politics and hate politicians," I said. "Perfect," he replied, "the deadline is Friday."

10 years on and here we are again. My warped idea of election coverage kicks off on the Gazette site next Monday. Meanwhile, here is the very first blog:

Date: 2005-04-08 16:37:16 +0100

Topic: Election looming

The announcement of the election earlier this week came as a complete shock. I was convinced Tony Blair was teasing, getting the other parties excited and then putting the election off for a year. My excuse for being caught off guard is that I was still mourning the loss of a major world figure - namely Christopher Eccleston abandoning the role of Dr Who.

Some cartoonists are intensely political animals. They rage against politicians and are determined that their spindly drawings will change the world. It never works. Politicians enjoy the attention and the more you attack them the more they want to buy the original artwork. This is why so many cartoonists take to drink in their later years . I'm afraid I'm more a political legume than animal. My usual idea of political activism is defacing the candidate's photos in their election literature. But this election is going to be different. I've been lured by the promise of fame and glory into keeping an election weblog. This is a considerable blow - I was planning to hide the radio and unplug the tv for the next month but now I'm going to have to pay attention.

I began last night and at first it sounded promising; I caught the newsreader saying "we acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness". At last, the Conservatives were making a clean start by atoning for the Thatcher years. But no, it turned out to be advance details of the royal wedding service. 

Time for some insightful political analysis. Locally, it looks like being the battle of the Tims. So far, in my view, Tim Farron is winning. He's first off the printer's block with a glossy leaflet full of pictures showing him annoying a broad range of locals. Three days in and Tim Collins's cheery face has yet to thrust itself through my letterbox. 

Turning to the Tim-o-Meter, Tim Farron is again in the lead: The last LibDem newsletter mentions his name 42 times, whereas Tim Collins's newsletter only managed to drop TC's name a paltry 34 times.

In the interest of balance, I have to tell you that there are two other parties campaigning locally but neither candidate is called Tim.

Gone away

Much as I enjoy drawing the weekly, front page cartoon for The Westmorland Gazette, I occasionally need a holiday. This presents the editor with a problem. Put in a little message ("Our cartoonist is on holiday. His home is currently empty and contains a load of worthless junk but you might find something worth putting on eBay.") or just fill the space with something else?

Some years ago, we hit on a couple of alternative solutions; remote cartooning and crystal ball gazing.

The remote cartooning works OK, if I don't mind the holiday being interrupted. It's a bit weird drawing about Kendal traffic whilst sat in Cape Town in view of Table Mountain, but I have done it. (There was a shooting outside the hotel as I sketched, just to remind me I wasn't in the Lakes.) But it is an interruption and sometimes, you know …

So back to the crystal ball gazing. This relies on two things (1) long-running stories or (2) a definite news event in the diary for the following week.

Last week I thought we had both CBEs (crystal ball events). The Lake District National Park had sold off bits of the Lake District and there was the chance it was going to keep the identity of the purchasers secret.

Excellent. Two cartoons done and sent as alternative options (one tying in with a then-current and, rather tediously, still current national story).

But news had other ideas and the focus shifted. So neither cartoon was used. You get the chance to see them below. Trust me, they would have been funny if the story had panned out …

Thin Blue Line

Controversy in South Cumbria last week as a local councillor suggested that Kendal might be enlivened by a lap dancing club. He was quick to point out that it could be either men or women dancing on your lap but too late - calls for resignation followed.

Elsewhere a major crime initiative was underway. Several shops have installed cardboard policemen to deter thieves. The image on the cutout was modelled on a policeman from Whitehaven and has been dubbed PC Boardman.

These are the two stories which fell across the Westmorland Gazette cartoon desk last week. You can see my reactions to them below with the final choice shown in colour. 

Did the editor pick the right one? Have your say in the comments box and fame will be yours forever.

Caught Napping

Value for money from our elected officials is a hot topic at the moment. We all want them to be dedicated professionals, devoted to serving the public need and preferably not flogging off their contacts list to the highest bidder.

One of the requirements we might justifiably demand is that when they attend important meetings, they pay attention. Not place space invaders on their smartphones.

Last week, The Westmorland Gazette had a splendid story and set of photographs showing a local councillor happily playing Solitaire on his iPhone … whilst attending a Cumbria County Council meeting to decide the county's budget for the next year.

I submitted a number of ideas for this story. You can see below the one which my steamed editor picked for the front page of the newspaper. But did he pick the right one* ? Vote in the comments below.

* No.

Accidents and emergencies

My blog usually consists of the weekly sketches for my newspaper cartoon plus occasional sketchbook entries and the odd rumination on life, the universe and stuff. Last week's was a little different due to World Events intervening, so I didn't get round to the newspaper sketches.

As I know from my Twitter follower, this has caused great disappointment for yards around, so here is the delayed blog.

The stories which fell across The Westmorland Gazette cartoon desk were many and varies. However the two which attracted me were one about a proposed Mayor of Cumbria (why?) and increasing waiting times at local hospital A&E.

You can see my sketches below and the final, color cartoon which made it onto the front page.

Je Suis Charlie