Post Election Blues

An interesting post-election week on the Westmorland Gazette cartoon desk. The ramifications of the general election result were still reverberating around the area, not least because we were one of only eight areas in the country to return a LibDem MP. And as the caring, sharing Conservatives have decided to flog off the remaining public housing stock, it seemed apposite that the local council has produced a Big Plan for new housing in South Lakes.

These are the cartoons I submitted to my steamed editor. The first batch of five met with a cruel response, so I followed it with a further three (always exciting with 35 minutes to deadline). I'm glad I did as it took until idea 8 to hit the idea I was edging towards.

Spoilt Paper 6 - Last orders

It’s the last few hours of the election campaign and it’s getting nasty. This is the media’s fault. Politicians generally have their own interests at heart but it would be nice if the national newspapers didn’t pander to them.

The regional press is more circumspect. Not necessarily a bastion of impartiality (except for this blog, obviously) but local newspapers are closer to their readers and less keen to alienate a bunch of them. 

The local campaign perked up today (Wednesday) with the arrival of Nick Clegg. Rather oddly, he’s visiting one of the LibDem safe seats. Perhaps it’s because he needed a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe he was preparing Big Tim to take on the baton. Anyway, Nick visited some loaves but was careful not to point at fish as that’s Cameron’s holiday job.

Speaking of whom, no sign of “pumped up” Big Dave in the immediate area, although he did make Heysham. Perhaps it’s too windy in the Lakes and he’s afraid he’ll blow away with all that hot air inside him.

According to today’s super sordid Sun, Ed is too busy scoffing bacon sandwiches to visit here.

I’m guessing that Natalie Bennett is rightly too concerned about carbon emissions to travel this far north. I’m relieved someone in this wretched campaign is thinking about the environment.

But no Nigel Farage! What a disappointment when we have so many fine hostelries. Obviously he’d have difficulty being angry about the local immigrant population when most of them are from the south of England. 

I’ll be tweeting comments and drawings live from the Westmorland & Lonsdale election count in the early hours of Friday morning. Follow the #wgelection search tag. There is also a live blog on the Westmorland Gazette site.

Spoilt Paper 4 - The Sock-o-Meter

The election is hotting up. All the parties have published their manifestos. The deadline for voter registrations has passed, leaving large numbers  of young people wondering why they get hit with tuition fees while more politically-active, older voters get all sorts of post-election benefits (do the math, chaps).  

And the leafleting campaign has gone up a gear with a further ONE leaflet flooding through my letterbox. This time it’s from the cheery Labour candidate. Appearing in a Kremlin-style hat might not be politically astute but he’s trying hard, despite knowing he hasn’t a chance.

So it’s time to dig out the blog Swing-o-meter for in-depth political analysis in graphical form.

In previous years we’ve had the Tim-o-meter (2005, when all the candidates were called Tim) and then the Grin-o-Meter (2010 when global warming took a dip due to sunlight reflected from the candidates’ teeth).

This time we’re honouring Big Tim’s repeated claim to work his socks off for the area. We present … the Sock-o-Meter™. Or Footsie Index, if you prefer. 

It’s more of a shoe-o-meter really but that name is less likely to get gratuitous hits from dyslexic porn enthusiasts.

As you can see, LibDem’s Big Tim is still in the lead. The Conservative’s Doctor Doctor is doing well. Greens and Labour holding up. UKIP practically off the chart as well as beyond the pale. There’s everything to play for (unless you’re Labour, Green or UKIP, obviously).

We’ll be returning to the Sock-o-Meter throughout the campaign, adding extra refinements as necessary (assuming I can find the allen key).

On Friday we’ll look at some of the candidates’ claims in more detail. Join me then for the next exciting episode.

Spoilt Paper 3 - A Time of the Signs

After the excitement of last week’s Westmorland and Lonsdale parliamentary hustings, it’s time for rigorous, in-depth analysis of how the candidates are doing.

As usual, unimpeachable methodology has been used to arrive at statistically-valid results, i.e. I drove round in my car for a bit and counted posters.

Here are the findings:

LibDem - 20

Conservative - 16

Labour - 1

UKIP - 0

Green Party - 2 (both seen in Booths car park, Windermere, so it’s possible I misread the recycling notice)

I almost missed three Tory posters as they were hiding in hedgerows and looked like estate agent signs. (And heaven knows we wouldn’t want to elect an estate agent; they tell porkies.) The three signs read “Conservatives: Securing Britain’s Future” and ironically enough they weren’t secured very well and were falling out the hedge.

The Tories are big in fields. The Doctor Doctor candidate’s smile is currently frightening livestock all over South Lakeland. LibDem signs are more often in front gardens, usually on the fence.

As far as I can tell, there are no UKIP signs anywhere - you just can’t get a decent Polish sign writer when you need one.

On Wednesday (or possibly Tuesday if I get enthusiastic) I’ll be introducing the updated 2015 blog swing-o-meter, the envy of broadcasters everywhere. I just have to figure out how to fit the batteries.

Spoilt Paper 2 - Westmorland Gazette Debate

Last night was the highlight of the election campaign so far - the Westmorland Gazette live debate. It was held at Kendal College and chaired with steely resolve and Dimbleby-style discipline by Gazette editor Andrew Thomas.

It began extraordinarily well - drinks, nibbles and cakes for everyone attending. The drinks were served in blue glasses but in the interests of balance they swapped for them for red beakers half-way through.

For the five candidates, this was their 13^th husting. At first I thought the table was aligned from left to right, politically speaking, but it turns out they were in alphabetical order. The Labour and UKIP candidates just happened to be at opposite ends.

The Gazette journalists were there in force and I was there in a nice jacket. It was my job to supply a sketches for the debate’s Twitter stream. (Any resemblance to candidates living or dead from the neck up is purely coincidental.)

Conservative candidate Ann Myatt

Green candidate Chris Loynes

Labour candidate John Bateson

LibDem candidate Tim Farron

UKIP candidate Alan Piper

Live tweeting an event is hectic. Last night, for example, I was drawing the candidates, taking photos of the sketches to upload to Twitter, adding comments and dealing with hecklers from the back who were being rude about my drawings. In general, I was undertaking my responsibility to report the event in a fair and unbiased manner. (OK, I lied about that last bit.)

Over 90 minutes, the candidates tackled a wide range of questions. A lot were on subjects you’d expect and some of the answers were pretty predictable too (the UKIP chap managed to blame the EU for something on the 2^nd question, winning me a bet with another journalist). The Green and Labour candidates were particularly impressive. LibDem Tim was, of course, the star as he’s used to the Big Boy’s Shouting Club in Westminster. It didn’t all go his way though.

In terms of audience reaction, my count was

LibDem - 4 rounds of applause

Labour and Green - 2 each

Conservative - 0 

UKIP - a round of boos (he’s a pub landlord) and a cry of “shame” and “disgraceful”. (It was a job to tell if this upset him as he looked pretty cross throughout the whole thing.)

You can still find the Tweets (look for the #WGdebate tag) and the live blog. Pop back here on Monday for an in-depth, scientific analysis of how the parties are really doing …