Monday, 20 April 2015

Spoilt Paper 3 - A Time of the Signs

After the excitement of last week’s Westmorland and Lonsdale parliamentary hustings, it’s time for rigorous, in-depth analysis of how the candidates are doing.

As usual, unimpeachable methodology has been used to arrive at statistically-valid results, i.e. I drove round in my car for a bit and counted posters.

Here are the findings:

LibDem - 20
Conservative - 16
Labour - 1
UKIP - 0
Green Party - 2 (both seen in Booths car park, Windermere, so it’s possible I misread the recycling notice)

I almost missed three Tory posters as they were hiding in hedgerows and looked like estate agent signs. (And heaven knows we wouldn’t want to elect an estate agent; they tell porkies.) The three signs read “Conservatives: Securing Britain’s Future” and ironically enough they weren’t secured very well and were falling out the hedge.

The Tories are big in fields. The Doctor Doctor candidate’s smile is currently frightening livestock all over South Lakeland. LibDem signs are more often in front gardens, usually on the fence.

As far as I can tell, there are no UKIP signs anywhere - you just can’t get a decent Polish sign writer when you need one.

On Wednesday (or possibly Tuesday if I get enthusiastic) I’ll be introducing the updated 2015 blog swing-o-meter, the envy of broadcasters everywhere. I just have to figure out how to fit the batteries.

No comments:

Post a Comment