Cat

It’s a spooky week in this week’s sizzling, soaraway Westmorland Gazette.

The demolition of a house in Kendal was interrupted when a builder spotted a face at one of the windows. A picture was taken and examined. It was the image of a previous owner, long since dead. The builders had spotted a ghost! (The fact that said building was being demolished to make way for a commercial property which might benefit from a bit of free publicity in no way diminishes the paranormal nature of this claim.)

Elsewhere, two ladies out jogging (or women out jogging, I’m never sure which word I’m supposed to use to avoid getting into trouble) on Scout Scar one evening (I hope you haven’t lost the thread of this sentence) spotted two eyes glowing in the dark. They turned their head torches on it and yes! - It was the fabled Big Cat. It swished it’s tail at them and, rather than investigate further, they ran away.

Now, this Big Cat has been lurking round South Lakeland for a while now. Either some farmer is keeping very quiet about his insurance claims for missing sheep or a supermarket is doing a roaring trade in Whiskas. I am roundly sceptical and really should go on a diet, but until I see this Big Cat for myself, in daylight, standing next to a rules, I will remain sceptical.

However, ghosts and Giant Moggies do enliven newspaper cartoon day, so I’m always grateful when they appear. Next week I want goblins (although not these goblins) In the meantime, below are the sketches I sent to my esteemed editor. You’ll be able to see which one made the front page by tuning into my website on Friday morning.

“These stories about a mystery giant cat are a gross exaggeration.”

“I’d say that’s incontrovertible evidence there’s a Big Cat round here.”

“At least they haven’t found out about the Yeti’s holiday home in Ambleside.”

“I’m the Gazette’s new spooky sightings reporter.”