In at the Shallow End

This week the Westmorland Gazette had two cracking candidates for the front page cartoon.

The first involved the Great North Swim. This marathon event, which involves swimming the width of Windermere (the lake not the village), has been running for millions of years. Probably. This year 9,000 swimmers signed up to participate. Unfortunately, the lake has been suffering from toxic algae so, at the very last minute, the event was cancelled. Wailing and gnashing of Speedos all round.

Elsewhere, Tony Blair has been promoting his autobiography, The Journey. One gem to emerge is that he regrets the 2004 Hunting Act, having realised that fox hunting wasn’t the preserve of “a small clique of weirdo inbreds, delighting in cruelty” (his words, not mine - I couldn’t possibly comment). Cue strident calls for a repeal of the legislation. 

I thought it rather sweet that this should cause Blair so much distress when he appears to more comfortable with other, slightly more controversial, decisions.

I submitted four cartoon sketches, which you can see below. One of them was deemed too political, which is a pity as it was my personal favourite. See if you can spot which of the other three met the editor’s approval. You can find out tomorrow if you were right by (a) buying The Westmorland Gazette, (b) visiting my website or (c) holding your computer upside down and scrolling to the answer at the foot of the screen.

Going Underground

This week's Westmorland Gazette story concerned an attempt to link Lancashire, Yorkshire and Cumbria. Not by bus, train or road. By tunnel.

Pot-holers are devising a route to link the three counties by caves and tunnels. Apparently they are not far off completing the task.

Clearly this was a story which was too good to pass for a cartoonist. Below are the four ideas I submitted. You can find out which one was chosen by checking my website on Thursday or buying the newspaper. (Which is an absolute bargain, btw.)

Getting angry

It’s a difficult balancing act, being a cartoonist when a serious or tragic news story breaks. On the one hand, it’s your job to seek out the lighter side but on the other there is the question of taste and the feelings of others. It’s exacerbated when the story touches on something close to home.

It was literally close to home last week. Just up the Cumbrian coast, in fact.

The story of the shootings was breaking whilst I was at the Westmorland Gazette. It was clearly not something I could tackle. Fortunately there was other news and a cartoon appeared on the front page, as usual, referencing a story several pages in.

As national coverage developed over the next couple of days, some of it pursued a well-worn path. ITV news talked of a “dark cloud which hangs over this picturesque corner of England”. The Daily Mirror ran a comment piece questioning the reaction time of the police (note to the Mirror: buy a map, use your fingers and add up the distances involved). Sky News embarked on a mission to interview anyone who had ever heard of Cumbria. 

On Twitter, hundreds of people responded to the news as it unfolded. Most were offering condolences or simply reacting with shock. The Twittersphere became a source of breaking information from local newspapers and Cumbria Police. A few Tweets shared chilling insights; a photographer in Whitehaven had been contacted by a London tabloid to acquire any wedding photographs of the deceased. Increasingly, the Tweets were about the media coverage itself. First signs of a backlash were already present by midday Thursday. 

News needs a story to tell. The journalists are there to bring together the threads. Unfortunately they also like to apply glib labels. This area has a wealth of associations so I doubt they’ll succeed in branding it another Dunblane or Hungerford. There is far more to Cumbria than a handy tag for the media when it refers to one tragic day. 

A newspaper cartoonist is in a privileged position. It provides an opportunity to reflect what others may be feeling, in the most direct way that you can. It’s not just about being funny; it’s about commenting, pointing out something that has been overlooked. Or, sometimes, it's just about getting angry.

Pay As You Stop

One of the lead stories in this week's Westmorland Gazette is about a radical new scheme for Lakeland car parking. Taking a lead from York and Westminster, the plan is to have one ticket for all the car parks which can be booked or renewed via mobile phone.

Given signal conditions in an area which features one or two mountains, this seems fraught with possibilities.

Here are the six sketches I submitted. The finished cartoon can be found on the front of today's Gazette or on my website.

Eating Crow

This week's Westmorland Gazette featured a story on birdies. Both the golfing and the feathered variety.

The two came together when a bunch of smarter-than-yer-average crows twigged that golfers on Ulverston golf course stopped for mid-morning snacks around hole 9. Eschewing worms, they have learnt to unzip golfing bags and extract chocolate bars. (The crows, that is, the golfers may well have already known how to do this.)

Stepping carefully round a minefield of puns, I produced five cartoon ideas for this. You can see which one got in by visiting my website or buying the newspaper.

Up The Wall

This week's Westmorland Gazette story was the tale of a lady who drove through a wall. Specifically, she crashed her Punto through a church wall.

As usual, I submitted four sketches to illustrate the idea and you can see which one got in by (a) buying the newspaper, (b) visiting my website, (c) forming a coalition of (a) and (b).

The Poll of Poles

It’s 11pm on 6th May. Campaigning is over. Even David (“call me the Duracell Bunny”) Cameron has got to desist now. Gordon Brown can have a lie down and Nick Clegg can stop walking on water.

On TV, Jeremy Vine is crouching and scuttling about in front of computer graphics. Huw Welsh is looking serious, as well he might having been relegated to the typing pool. On ITV, a newsreader is standing in front of a cardboard set, pretending it’s Number 10.

According to the polls, the Tories may achieve a slim majority. But the polls are usually wrong. They exist to keep unemployed pollsters on the streets and to give excitable Today programme presenters something to talk about.

In South Lakes, the only poll that matters is the Grin-o-Meter. I was away for the bank holiday and conducted the usual rigorous research upon my return.

Between the M6 and Windermere there are:

70 signs for Tim Thingie (LibDem)

37 signs for Gareth McGareth (Conservative, staring manfully into the distance party)

18 signs for Parking

2 for Matthews Benjamin (sell your house party)

1 defaced sign for UKIP (not by me)

0 signs for Labour

A quick glance at the Grin-o-Meter, which today depicts the results in the form of an oil slick, reveals a number of startling facts.

Labour and Jonathan Whatsit have disappeared altogether. Never mind, Jonathan, it’s all good experience for the safe Labour seat you’ll be offered next time. 

UKIP are barely visible, little more than a gush of steam on the horizon as they are wheeled back to the day care centre. 

The new Parking Party has come from nowhere, with their jaunty slogan - “Gone for Change”. 

Matthews Benjamin aren’t doing too well but then estate agents don’t come out from under rocks that often.

But, taken overall, it means that even if Gareth forms a coalition with the Parking Party, Mathews Benjamin and UKIP, Tim still has an overall majority.

Remember, the Grin-o-Meter never lies.