An unusual Westmorland Gazette cartoon blog this week. It's subject to a superinjunction.
The story concerns an alleged assault. Now, despite the fact that there is a victim with palpable injuries, a witness and an arrest, the newspaper is not allowed to ascribe any criminal misdeeds to the person arrested. The UK has this namby-pamby notion that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Until a court decides what happened in a crime and who (if anyone) is to blame … newspapers have to steer clear.
And the same applies to the newspaper's cartoonist.
Which is a pity because it is a cracking story. Man allegedly assaults chap in car park late at night and runs off. Chap's friend is still in her pyjamas but gives chase. "You won't catch me, you're a girl," shouts alleged perpetrator. Girl turns out to be ex-champion fell racer who catches him and calls police.
That's the story. You can read it in the carefully-worded full version here.
Below are the cartoons I submitted. Some captions have been subjected to the stern gaze of the blog's resident legal sparrow. These are among the wittiest captions I - or any other cartoonist - has ever written in the entire history of the world. Sadly, however, they must remain unseen.
The astute among you may also spot that one cartoon appears three times. This was a bid to come up with a caption which was acceptable.
You can see which one got into the paper by visiting my website. For the others … you'll have to wait until the case goes to court.