The last couple of days, the Twitterati have been indulging in a splendid game called London Lies for Tourists (click the link to see them all). It was instigated by Time Out magazine, who have 20 of the best on their website (although, quaintly, they think they were all from Londoners - hence 21, below).
Clearly, it was the duty of every cartoonist to join in, so these were my contributions. Feel free to add your own in the comments box.
1. London IS paved with gold. Make sure you examine all the cracks very carefully as you walk along them
2. The man on the top of Nelson’s Column is actually a mime artist
3. The Olympic Stadium will be finished in time
4. London cabbies are chosen because of their broadmindedness & inquiring natures
5. A Monopoly board will help you navigate easily around London
6. Covent Garden is an area set aside for quiet contemplation & religious meditation
7. In Harrods you get special attention if you say you know Prince Philip personally
8. Rest assured that every souvenir bearing a Union Jack is guaranteed to be made in Britain
9. All London branches of MacDonalds sell whelks and eels
10. The patron saint of London is Tommy Steele
11. You are not allowed to get off the tube at Baker Street unless you know all the words to the Gerry Rafferty song
12. Everyone in London is a personal friend of @stephenfry
13. London was actually sold to the Americans in 1967. The one in England is a replica
14. Cyclists are allowed to ride down the escalators
15. The Saatchi Gallery is full of interesting & attractive art exhibits
16. You are only allowed to travel clockwise round the Circle Line. If you miss a stop you have to go round again
17. There is a Royal Wedding held in London on the first Saturday of every month
18. London was sold outright to Russian oligarch Boris Johnson in 2008
19. If you read out all the station names backwards on the London Underground map, you summon the devil
20. Whitechapel and Baker Street are still lit by gaslight and shrouded in fog
21. Once you get outside London, nothing else exists
22. Rush hour tube commuters are renowned for their love of garlic. Make sure you eat plenty to blend in.
ReplyDelete23. Trooping the Colour is by personal request. Hand yours to a sentry outside Buckingham Palace.